Andrej Hočevar, Robin Parmar
englisch
Moški pri tridesetih
1
Moški, ki bomo pri štiridesetih kupovali nove
teniške loparje, posebne gramofonske igle in prve
vozovnice za Indijo, si pri tridesetih zavezujemo copate
za tek in izginjamo v svetlobo zgodnjega večera.
Nekdo, ki ga vedno znova zapuščamo,
nas vedno znova pričaka doma, kamor se vrnemo
nespremenjeni, četudi potni in močnejši. Svet okoli
sebe najbolje dojemamo s hitrostjo tekača.
Telesa nam še dovoljujejo, da nismo nikoli
pri miru, zato vrztrajamo pri prepričanju, da
vse, kar miruje, ostaja mimobežno in brez volje,
in vse, kar se premika, v sebi samozadostno počiva.
Moški pri tridesetih se počutimo kot fantje
iz višjih razredov – večji le za eno glavo,
le za spoznanje bolj hrabri in zato bolj dostopni
kot naši očetje, ki so nekoč davno prestopili mejo,
preskočili našo starost in nam odrekli primerljivost –,
zato v trenutkih miru nehamo verjeti v napredek,
ki ga bomo čez deset let ponovno slavili:
nekaj nam bo odrekalo veselje ob zasluženih dosežkih
in začeli bomo iskati nove vzornike,
ob katerih naši cilji ne bi bili videti tako plehki.
2
Moški pri tridesetih ne vemo, kaj mislijo ženske
pri tridesetih, čeprav si jih radovedno ogledujemo.
Ne vemo, kaj počnejo ženske pri tridesetih,
ki bodo pri štiridesetih še vedno stale v svojih
nekdanjih, za nas novih telesih, a ne bodo
imele časa, da bi to opazile. Takrat bodo potrebovale
moške, ki pri tridesetih o tem ne vemo še ničesar,
kar ne pomeni, da bomo moški pri štiridesetih
bolj dojemljivi za lepoto opuščenih ciljev.
Ženske pri tridesetih, ki bodo pri štiridesetih
ponovno pogledale k nam z očmi naših otrok,
nas bodo mogoče izzvale, naj jih tudi mi pogledamo
z otroškimi očmi izpred desetih let. Zato moramo
ohranjati dobro telesno formo in se oklepati
prepričanja, da si bomo vedno zvesti, če bomo
le dovolj hitro tekli, da bi prehiteli pogled
na obrano trto, sveže konjske fige in druge neznosne
trenutke, v katerih je treba oceniti zadnjo letino –
moški pri tridesetih preprosto še ne vemo,
da potrebujemo ženske pri tridesetih
zato, ker brez njih ni življenja,
ki bi nam prizaneslo.
Aus: (unpublished)
Audioproduktion: LUD Literatura, 2014
Men in their Thirties
1
We men who will in our forties buy new
tennis rackets special turntable needles and our first
tickets to India are now in our thirties tying sneakers
disappearing into the light of early evening
that person we leave again and again
keeps waiting for us at home to where we return
unchanged full of sweat and strength we understand
the world around us best at the speed of running
our bodies (still) allow us to never be
(still) so we cling to the belief that everything
at a stand (still) remains but fleeting without will
and everything moving self-sufficiently finds repose in itself
we men in our thirties feel like boys
from upper grades taller by a hair
only slightly tougher more accessible
than our fathers who once long ago stepped over the line
skipped our age and denied any possibility of comparison
so in moments of peace we stop believing in progress
in ten years time we’ll start again
something will negate the joys of our hard-won success
we’ll look for new role models
compared to which our goals won’t seem so vain
2
We men in our thirties have no clue what women think
in their thirties though we eye them with curiosity
nor do we have any clue what women in their thirties do
women who in their forties will still stand firmly
rooted in their bodies always so fresh to us
but they’re too busy to notice they’re going to need
us men who in our thirties know nothing about such things
though even as men in our forties we won’t be
increasingly susceptible to the beauty of abandoned goals
women in their thirties who in their forties
will regard us now with the eyes of our children
challenge us to regard them likewise
with our childish eyes ten years past
for this we must keep in shape believe we’ll be true
if only we can run fast enough to out-
strip the harvested vine fresh horse apples
and other unbearable fruits of the harvest
we men in our thirties are simply not yet
aware that we need women in their thirties
for without them no future life
will spare us