原始角色丛书

多年前,我的肉体将我错过。
这事情本不该发生,但事实上,
已重复过多次。我的肉体是我的奇迹,
但这听上去太高调。我当时的想法是,
奇迹会减弱自由,且很有可能,
奇迹是堕落的另一种形式。我的肉体,悬挂着,
像成熟的苹果,随时都会坠落。
你知道,如果碰巧砸到脑袋上,
世界也许会再次开窍。我侧卧在草地上,
周围布满了夏日昆虫的各种思想。
我喜欢任何有节奏的事情。
草地上,不须提炼,昆虫的思想就很有节奏。
顺着那节奏,我似乎能摸到命运的把柄。
我带去了半瓶葡萄酒,嚼在嘴里的牛肉干
散发着牦牛的气息。我消磨着
仿佛再不会被错过的我。我的肉体
曾是三只刚刚爬过垭口的牦牛。
那里,阿坝的雪水像透明的琴弦,
曾溶化过花岗岩比还坚硬的记忆。
我的肉体将我错过,意思是,从一开始,
我的肉体就由属于一个男人的肉体
和属于一个复活者的肉体组成。
它们带给我的快乐像真理一样矛盾。
但是,盲目的,从来就不是肉体,
你知道,我能解释的,还远不止这些。

2010.5

© Zang Di
录制: Literaturwerkstatt Berlin, 2015

THE BOOKS OF THE ORIGINAL ROLE

Years ago my body missed me.
This shouldn’t have happened, but in fact,
did, many times. My body is my miracle,
which sounds presumptuous, but what I was thinking
was how miracles constrain my freedom, and even
constitute another form of corruption.  My body hanging there,
like a ripe apple that could fall at any time.
You know, if it strikes you on your head by chance
the world will probably crack open, awakening.
I lay on my side on the grass, surrounded by the thoughts
of summer insects. I like things with a rhythm.
On the grass, the insects thought rhythmically without tuning.
Following that rhythm, it seemed as if I’d seized
fate by its Achilles’ heel.
I’d brought a half-bottle of wine, the beef jerky I was chewing
full of the yak’s life. I was grinding down my own body
that would not miss me anymore. My body
was once the three yaks who had just emerged from the valley.
There, the snow-streams on the Aba were like clear strings
that had melted the memory of hard granite stones.
My body missed me, meaning that from the beginning
my body was a composition of bodies
from a man and the one who returns from death.
They’ve brought me joys that contradicted each other like the truth.
However, what is blind is never the body itself.
You know, I could have explained this much better.

2010

Translated from the Chinese by Ming Di and Neil Aitken