Buku Harian Perkawinan
ketika menikahimu, tak kusebut keinginan setia.
engkau bahkan telah menjadi budak penurutku.
dunia yang kumiliki kubangun di atas bukit batu
dan padang ilalang. kau bajak jadi ladang subur
yang mesti kupanen dalam setiap dengus nafsuku.
kupelihara ribuan hewan liar, kujadikan prajurit
yang akan menjaga dan memburumu.
dan kutanam bambu untuk gagang tombak dan sembilu.
berlarilah sejauh langkah kejantananmu, lelaki!
bersembunyilah di antara ketiak ibumu,
membaca gerak tubuh dan persemaian segala
tumbuhan bijak: ajarilah aku membangun rumah dan
dindingtakberpintu. memenjara penyerahanku
yang kaubaca dengan bahasamu.
tapi aku menikahimu tidak untuk setia.
kubiarkan diriku bertarung di setiap medan peperangan.
aku panglima untuk sepasukan hewanhewan liarku
--yang selalu bergairah memandangmu
di atas meja makan.
sekarang biarlah kudekap engkau,
sebelum kulunaskan puncak laparku!
2000
The Marriage Diary
when i married you, i silenced my need for your fidelity.
you then changed and became my obedient slave.
this world that i own i built on a hill of stones
and a field of blady grass. you ploughed it, turning the land fertile
and i harvested while hauling around my sniffling lust.
i have a thousand wild beasts, i’ll use them as soldiers
that will stalk and imprison you.
and, the bamboos i had planted will be made into spears and blades.
run as far as your cocky, macho strides can take you, man!
hide in your mother’s armpits,
read the body language and the growth
of saplings in the greenhouse: tell me how to erect a dwelling
and build walls without doors - the prison of my offerings
that you had read in your own tongue.
i married you but not for your fidelity.
i’ve tolerated the wars waged with myself at each battlefield.
i am the commander of a troop of the wildest beasts
-who are always lusting after you, as they ogle
you at the dining table.
for now let me hold you,
before i heed and end my dire hunger.