Tomaž Šalamun

斯洛文尼亚文

RIBA

Jaz sem mesojedec, ampak rastlina.
Jaz sem Bog in človek v enem.
Jaz sem buba. Iz mene rase človeštvo.
Jaz imam čisto razlite možgane, kot
cvet, da lahko bolj ljubim. Včasih dam
prste vanje in so topli. Hudobni ljudje
rečejo, da se drugi ljudje v njih
utopijo. Ne. Jaz sem trebuh.
V njem sprejemam popotnike.
Jaz imam ženo, ki me ljubi.
Včasih se ustrašim, da me ona bolj
ljubi kot jaz njo in sem žalosten in
potrt. Moja žena diha kot majhen
ptiček. Njeno telo me spočije.
Moja žena se boji drugih gostov.
Rečem ji, ne, ne, ne se bati.
Vsi gosti so en sam in za nas vse.
Bela vžigalica z modro glavico mi je
padla v stroj. Umazal sem si nohte.
Zdaj premišljujem, kaj naj napišem.
Tukaj živi ena soseda. Njeni otroci zelo
razgrajajo. Jaz sem Bog in jih pomirim.
Ob enih grem k zobozdravniku. Dr. Mena,
calle Reloj. Pozvonil bom in rekel, naj mi
izdre zob, ker preveč trpim.
Najbolj sem srečen v spanju in ko pišem.
Mojstri si me podajajo iz roke v roko.
To je potrebno. To je tako potrebno
kot za drevo, da rase. Drevo rabi zemljo.
Jaz rabim zemljo, da ne znorim.
Živel bom štiristo petdeset let.
Rebazar Tarzs živi že šeststo let.
Ne vem, če je bil on v tistem belem plašču,
ker jih še ne ločim. Ko pišem, imam
drugo posteljo. Včasih se razlijem bolj kot
voda, ker voda najbolj ljubi.
Strah rani ljudi. Roža je najbolj
mehka, če daš nanjo dlan. Roža ima rada
dlan. Jaz imam rad vse. Včeraj sem
sanjal, da se je moj oče sklonil k
Harriet. Ustrašim se drugih žensk in
zato z njimi ne spim. Ampak razdalja med
Bogom in mladimi ljudmi je majhna.
V Bogu je vedno ena sama ženska, in to je
moja žena. Ne bojim se, da bi me gostje
raztrgali. Jaz lahko dam vse, pa še zrase.
Bolj ko dajem, bolj rase. Potem odplava
kot pomoč za druga bitja. Na enem planetu je
zbirni center za moje meso. Ne vem, na
katerem. Kdorkoli bo spil kaj od tega, bo
srečen. Jaz sem cevka. Jaz sem Bog, ker
ljubim. Vse temno imam tu, not, nič
zunaj. Vsako žival lahko presvetlim.
Kruli mi. Kadar slišim sokove v svojem
telesu, vem, da sem v milosti. Jaz bi moral
noč in dan požirati denar, če bi hotel
zgraditi svoje življenje, pa še ne bi
pomagalo. Jaz sem ustvarjen za to, da
sijem. Denar je smrt. Na teraso grem.
Od tam vidim vso pokrajino, do Dolores
Hidalga. Toplo in mehko je kot v Toskani,
pa ni Toskana. Tam z Metko sediva in
gledava. Sonce zaide in še sediva in
gledava. Ona ima roke kot Šakti. Jaz imam
gobec kot egipčanska žival. Ljubezen je
vse. Mojzesova košara se ni nikoli
razbila na skalah. Iz ravne pokrajine
hodijo majhni konjički. Od Sierre piha
veter. Jaz grem ljudem v usta z glavo
naprej in jih ubijem in rodim,
ubijem in rodim, ker pišem.

© Tomaž Šalamun
从: Glas
Maribor : Založba Obzorja, 1983
录制: Študentska založba

THE FISH

I am a carnivore, but a plant.
I am God and man in one.
I'm a chrysalis. Mankind grows out of me.
My brain is liquefied like
a flower, so I can love better. Sometimes I dip
my fingers in it and it's warm. Nasty people
say others have drowned
in it. Not true. I am a belly
I put up travelers in it.
I have a wife who loves me.
Sometimes I'm afraid she loves me
more than I love her and I get sad and
depressed. My wife breathes like a small
bird. Her body soothes me.
My wife is afraid of other guests.
I say to her, now, now, don't be afraid.
All our guests are a single being, for both of us.
A white match with a blue head has fallen into my
typewriter. My nails are all dirty.
I'm thinking hard now what to write.
One of my neighbors has terribly noisy
children. I am God, I calm them down.
At one I'm going to the dentist, Dr. Mena,
Calle Reloj. I'll ring the bell and ask him
to pull my tooth, because it hurts too much.
I'm happiest in my sleep and when I write.
The masters pass me along from hand to hand.
That's essential. It's just as essential as
growing is for trees. A tree needs earth.
I need earth so I won't go mad.
I'll live four hundred and fifty years.
Tarzs Rebazar has been alive six hundred.
I don't know if that was him in the white coat,
I still can't make them out. When I write I have
a different bed. Sometimes I start pouring out more like
water, because water is most loving of all.
Fear injures people. A flower is softest
if you close your hand around it. Flowers like
hands. I like everything. Last night I
dreamed my father leaned across toward
Harriet. Other women frighten me, and
so I don't sleep with them. But the distance between
God and young people is slight.
There's always just a single woman in God, and that's
my wife. I'm not afraid of my guests tearing
me apart. I can give them anything, it will just grow back.
The more I give, the more it grows back. Then it launches off
as a source of help for other creatures. On some planet
there's a central storehouse for my flesh. I don't know
which one it's on. Whoever drinks it will
be happy. I'm a water hose. I'm God, because
I love. Everything dark in here, inside, nothing
outside. I can X-ray any creature.
I'm rumbling. When I hear the juices in my
body, I know I'm in a state of grace. I would have to
consume money day and night if I wanted to
build a life, and still it wouldn't help. I was made to
shine. Money is death. I'll go out on the terrace.
From there I can see the whole countryside as far as Dolores
Hidalgo. It's warm and soft as Tuscany,
though it's not Tuscany. Metka and I sit there,
watching. Her hands are like Shakti's. My
mouth is like some Egyptian beast's. Love is
all. Moses's wicker basket never
struck the rocks. Miniature horses come
trotting out of the level countryside. A wind blows
from the Sierras. I slide headfirst into people's
mouths and kill and give birth,
kill and give birth, because I write.

Translated by Michael Biggins
© by White Pine Press