Kaur Riismaa

estonščina

Adam Cullen

angleščina

Mis seal rääkida

Ta avastab, ühel õhtul vannis,
et munadel kasvavad karvad,
ning jalgadel
ja kaenla all.
Aga kuidas ta sellest kellelegi räägib

Ta avastab, ühel päeval koolis,
et paralleelklassis on tüdruk kes...
ja et see tüdruk...
ja kui ta...
Aga kuidas ta sellest kellelegi räägib.

Ta avastab, ühel hommikul peegli ees,
et enam ei matki isa,
vaid on ise,
ja samasugune.
Aga kuidas ta sellest kellelegi räägib.

Avastab, ühel öösel voodis,
unetuna lage vahtides,
et kurat,
kõik sõbrad on surnud.
Aga kuidas ta sellest kellelegi räägib.

Sest kuidas ta kellelegi räägib,
et on mees,
et on karvane,
armunud, isa, või surelik.
Mis seal rääkida.
Kõige tähtsamad hetked elus
kaovad vaikusse.

Nagu sinagi.

Mis seal rääkida.

© Kaur Riismaa
Iz: Rebase matmine
Tallinn: Näo Kirik, 2012
ISBN: 9789949917280
Avdio produkcija: Eesti Kirjanduse Teabekeskus [Estonian Literature Centre], 2014

What is there to say

He discovers, one night in the tub,
that hairs are growing on his nuts,
and on his legs,
and under his armpits.
But how can he tell anyone about it

He discovers, one day at school,
that in another class is a girl, who ...
and that that girl ...
and that when she ...
But how can he tell anyone about it.

He discovers, one morning in front of the mirror,
that he no longer copies his father,
but is he himself,
and is identical.
But how can he tell anyone about it.

He discovers, one night in bed,
while staring sleeplessly at the ceiling,
that – damnit,
all of his friends are dead.
But how can he tell anyone about it.

Because how can he tell anyone
that he is a man,
that he is hairy,
in love, a father, or mortal.
What is there to say.
The most important moments in life
disappear into silence.

Just like you.

What is there to say.

Translated from Estonian by Adam Cullen