Damir Šodan
angleščina
[Voljela bih biti otac mojoj kćeri]
Voljela bih biti otac mojoj kćeri
s mekanim i mirisnim dlačicama na rukama
u koje zabija nos i opija se
tamnim, muškim, sigurnim
nositi broj 43, najmanje,
da mi se popne na prste
i bude najviša od svih
i ne klizi dolje
da se sakrije iza mojih leđa
da me zavodljivo gleda
da budem uporište kad više ničega nema,
zadnje, najzadnje
nepokorivo
da se znam smijati
praviti nered
igrati šah,
i koga je Perzej ljubio
nestati
očevi pouzdano znaju nestati
majke ostaju za mržnju
krivih usana
ukočenih ramena
općenito propadljivijeg tijela
s malo ili sasvim bez trikova
mrzeći svoje majke
koje nikada nisu znale
kako im biti očevi.
Iz: In a sentimental mood
Zagreb: Sandorf, 2017
Avdio produkcija: Haus für Poesie, 2021
[I’d love to be a father to my daughter]
I’d love to be a father to my daughter
with soft and fragrant little hairs on his hands
so she can bury her nose in them, getting drunk
on something dark, safe and masculine
my feet a size 43 European at least
so she can stand on my toes
feeling taller than everyone else
and not slip down
so she can hide behind my back
and eye me seductively
so I can be her anchor when all else is gone,
her last, very last unconquerable
resort
so I can know how to laugh
mess things up
play chess
and know who Perseus was in love with
how to disappear
for fathers know how to disappear convincingly
while mothers remain to be hated
with twisted lips
and stiff shoulders
bodies generally prone to decay
with very few if any tricks up their sleeve
while hating their own mothers
who never knew
how to father them.