Hana Samaržija
angleščina
Vrijeme dugog oporavka
Došli smo u godine u kojima zrelost
nema veze s godinama:
ptice se sporazumijevaju tako da kretanjem
oponašaju putanje
nebeskih tijela.
Žabe plove morima
koristeći svoje glatke grlene opne
kao jedra.
Sedam dana samoće proteklo je ovako:
prvog dana nisam ni shvatila da sam sama.
Drugog dana, svakodnevica
je bila uobičajena.
Nisam ništa jela
i malo sam spavala,
skuhala sam juhu od tvoje košulje
za slučaj da na vrata pokuca neki gost.
Na kraju sam njome oprala prozore,
bolje je tako nego da bacim
kakvu uvredu u smjeru vrata,
vrata kroz koja nitko ne prolazi jer sam to zabranila,
vrata koja su zaključana,
zašivena u topli zid mojeg želuca,
progutana ježeva kuća.
Trećeg dana, shvatila sam da sam sama.
Ribe su se uplašile i okupile u jato.
Održale su sastanak na kojem su odlučile
da će od sutra živjeti kao srebrni šišmiši.
Letjet će prema svjetlu, zatvoriti oči
i brojati dane senzorima koje nose u grlu.
Odlučila sam ostati sama
i prigrliti svoje novo stanje
kao vrijeme dugog oporavka.
Četvrtog se dana ne sjećam.
Petog se dana dobro sjećam,
ali radije o njemu ne bih govorila.
Šestog sam dana odlučila:
bit ću sama.
I doista, sedmi dan.
Kao da puca led u mojim koljenima,
u mojim zahvalama,
u člancima mene-pauka
koji nalikuje na psa,
u zubima mene-lisice
koja nalikuje na vuka.
The Time of Long Recovery
We’ve reached the age when maturity
has nothing to do with years:
birds communicate
by aping heavenly bodies
with their movement.
Frogs roam the seas
by using their silky films
as sails.
My seven days of solitude went as follows:
on the first day, I didn’t realize I was alone.
On the second day, my routine
proceeded as usual.
I ate nothing
and slept little,
cooked a soup from your shirt
should I have to welcome some guest.
I ended up using it to clean the windows,
which trumps
hurling an insult towards the door
the door that welcomes no visitors,
the door that is locked,
sown in the warm walls of my stomach,
a hedgehog's home, swallowed.
When, on the third day, I realized I was alone,
the fish got scared and gathered into a flock.
They held a meeting and decided
to proceed living as silver bats.
They’ll fly towards the light, close their eyes,
and count the days with the sensors in their throats.
I decided to remain alone,
and embrace this state
as the time of my long recovery.
I don’t remember the fourth day.
I remember the fifth day well
but prefer not to talk about it.
On the sixth day, I decided:
I will be alone.
And indeed, the seventh day.
Like ice cracking in my knees,
in my thanks,
in me-spider's knuckles,
who resembles a dog,
in me-fox's teeth,
who resembles a wolf.