Pauline Fan
malaio
The Empress
My beloved, you who spend your nights
Torturing me
By holding up one mirror after another
To me in the dark,
If there’s anything I know to say or do today,
I merit no praise for it,
But owe it to the subtlety of your torments,
And your perseverance in keeping me awake.
All the same, who gave you the right
To judge me in my wretchedness?
What soul white as snow
Compiled this endless list of misdeeds
You read to me every night?
The airs you put on when I tell you to stop
Would make one believe
You were once a bedmate of a Chinese emperor.
I like it best when we do not say a word.
When we lie side by side
Like two lovers after their passion is spent.
Once again, day is breaking.
A small bird in the trees is pouring her heart out
At the miracle of the coming light.
It hurts.
The beauty of a night spent sleepless.
Extraído de: New and Selected Poems 1962-2012
New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2013
Maharani
Sayangku, kau yang menghabiskan malammu
Menderaku
Memegang cermin, satu demi satu,
Menghadapku dalam kelam.
Jika ada apa-apa yang ku insaf untuk kata atau lakukan,
Janganlah puji aku,
Aku berhutang budi kepada seksaan halusmu,
Ketekunanmu memastikan aku terjaga.
Apa pun, siapa yang beri kau hak
Untuk menghukumku dalam kecelakaanku ini?
Jiwa apakah, seputih salji,
Mengumpulkan senarai salah laku tak berkesudahan
Yang kau bacakan kepadaku setiap malam?
Lagakan angkuhmu bila ku suruh mu berhenti
Seolah-olah
Kau pernah menjadi teman tidur Maharaja China.
Aku paling suka bila kita tidak berkata-kata.
Bila kita baring bersebelahan
Seperti dua kekasih setelah lepas ghairah.
Sekali lagi, fajar menyingsing.
Seekor burung kecil di dahan sedang mencurah hatinya
Terhadap keajaiban cahaya yang menghampiri.
Pedihnya.
Keindahan suatu malam tanpa tidur.