北站 / Bei zhan

我感到我是一群人。
在老北站的天桥上,我身体里
有人开始争吵和议论,七嘴八舌。
我抽着烟,打量着火车站的废墟,
我想叫喊,嗓子里火辣辣的。

我感到我是一群人。
走在废弃的铁道上,踢着铁轨的卷锈,
哦,身体里拥挤不堪,好像有人上车,
有人下车。一辆火车迎面开来,
另一辆从我的身体里呼啸而出。

我感到我是一群人。
我走进一个空旷的房间,翻过一排栏杆,
在昔日的剪票口,突然,我的身体里
空荡荡的。哦,这个候车厅里没有旅客了,
站着和坐着的都是模糊的影子。

我感到我是一群人。
在附近的弄堂里,在烟摊上,在公用电话旁,
他们像汗珠一样出来。他们蹲着,跳着,
堵在我的前面。他们戴着手表,穿着花格衬衣,
提着沉甸甸的箱子像是拿着气球。

我感到我是一群人。
在面店吃面的时侯他们就在我的面前
围桌而坐。他们尖脸和方脸,哈哈大笑,他们有一点儿会计的
假正经。但是我饿极了。他们哼着旧电影的插曲,
跨入我的碗里。

我感到我是一群人。
但是他们聚成了一堆恐惧。我上公交车,
车就摇晃。进一个酒吧,里面停电。我只好步行
去虹口,外滩,广场,绕道回家。
我感到我的脚里有另外一双脚。

            
1997.6.10.

© Xiao Kaiyu
Extraído de: Xuexi zhi tian (Das süsse Lernen)
Beijing: Gongren, 2000
Produção de áudio: 2001 M. Mechner, literaturWERKstatt berlin

North Station

I felt I was a multitude.
On the skywalk at Shanghai’s Old North Station, in my body
People began disputing and deliberating, all clamoring at once.
While smoking, I sized up the train station in ruins,
I felt like screaming, but my throat was scorched.

I felt I was a multitude.
Walking among the abandoned rail lines, kicking the tracks, warped with rust,
Ah, my body felt jammed, as if people were boarding,
And disembarking. A train was racing toward me,
Another one came howling out of my body.

I felt I was a multitude.
I entered a cavernous room, jumped the railing,
At the ticket window from days past, my body suddenly
Felt vacant. Ah, the station terminal was devoid of travelers,
All that was standing and sitting were murky shadows.

I felt I was a multitude.
In a nearby alleyway, by the cigarette stand, next to the pay phone
They flowed out like beads of sweat. They were squatting, jumping,
Blocking me from moving forward. They wore watches and flowery shirts,
And they carried heavy suitcases like they were balloons.

I felt I was a multitude.
Eating noodles at the noodle shop they were right in front of me,
They sat down around a table. Some had pointy faces, some
square faces, laughing, They looked like accountants
with feigned solemnity. They were famished. They listened to musical scores
from old movies,
Stepping into my bowl.

I felt I was a multitude.
But they accumulated a heap of fear. I boarded the transit bus,
And the bus shook. Entering a bar, the electricity went out. All I could do was
Walk to Hongkou, to the Bund, to People’s Square, the roundabout way home.
I felt in my feet there was another pair of feet.

Translation by Christopher Lupke