Adam Cullen

english

Higgsi boson

Armastus on nagu Higgsi boson.
Paljud usuvad, et ta on olemas.
On mõned, kes väidavad, et on teda
näinud või mõõtnud.
Võib kahtlustada, et osad neist valetab.
Või näeb jumalteabmida.

Armastus on nagu Higgsi boson,
ta peaks andma me elu elementaarosakestele
massi. Massi või vähemasti mõtte.
Aga meil ei õnnestu ega õnnestu teda leida,
täpselt ja kindlalt, iseenda ja oma jumala ees
näpuga näidata: nii, näed, siin on nüüd see
Higgsi boson, siin ja sel hetkel asub
ainus, igavene ja tõeline armastus.

Sellega on natuke nagu jumalaga, sellega
on natuke nagu elu enesega – tuleb uskuda,
ja ta püsib koos, tal on siis mass ja mõte.
Kui ei usu, vajub kõik laiali ning kaob
tagasi algolekusse nagu laste laotud liivaloss.

Higgsi boson ja armastus on natuke sarnased,
jääb alati inimesi, kes neisse ei usu,
jääb alati võimalus, et neid ei leita, ei mõõdetagi,
mis ei tee neid vähem olevaks, kui meil seda olemist
väga vaja on.

© Jürgen Rooste
From: Higgsi boson
Näo Kirik, 2012
ISBN: 9789949917273
Audio production: Eesti Kirjanduse Teabekeskus [Estonian Literature Centre], 2014

The Higgs boson

Love is like the Higgs boson.
Many believe it exists.
There are some, who claim they have
seen or measured it.
One might suspect some of them are lying.
Or are seeing Godknowswhat.

Love is like the Higgs boson:
it should give our life's elementary particles
mass. Mass, or a point at least.
But try as we may, we'll never find it,
never point it out precisely and with certainty
before ourselves and our God: ah, look –
now here's that Higgs boson; here and in this moment
lies the sole, eternal and true love.

It's sort of like with God, it's
sort of like with life itself – one must believe,
and it holds together; it has mass and a point then.
If one doesn't believe, everything goes to pieces and
disappears back into its initial state, like a child's sand castle.

The Higgs boson and love are somewhat similar –
there will always be people who don't believe in them,
there will always be the possibility that they won't be found, won't even be measured,
which doesn't make them exist any less if we very much need
that existence.

Translated from Estonian by Adam Cullen