RANJENIK ISKUŠAVA BOGA

lutao sam šumom neprijateljskog kraljevstva
i naletio na žicu skrivenu u travi
pješadijska rasprskavajuća odskočna mina PROM2
u djeliću sekunde pred eksploziju
očekivao sam od Boga da me zaobiđe ta čaša
kada me detonacija izbacila u zrak vidio sam komade
željeza komade moje odore komade mog mesa kako hvataju
orbitu / pijesak zvijezde porculan četiri kuta vjetra tartan
žilete led / Josepha Conrada kako prosi Freyu djevojku sa
Sedam Otoka / moje neprijatelje mačke kako kradu kisik
planete i ruju po smeću / sve svjetionike u plamenu od
Novih Hebrida do Obale Papra / predsjednika Zimbabwea
Canaana Bananu
kako sluša njemački radio / tisuću prepariranih ribljih glava
koje prorokuju stranim jezicima / Amadeusa Mozarta kako
slaže aviončiće od novina –
nikada nisam volio Mozarta i to me bacilo dolje na zemlju
a zbor bečkih dječaka je zapjevao:
“vrč ide na vodu dok se ne razbije
vrč ide na vodu dok se ne razbije”

Bože, daj da me zaobiđe ta čaša molio sam
u bolničkim kolima
daj da živim još malo bar kojih 100 godina
ne želim umrijeti sada kada je došlo naše vrijeme
htio sam da moja odlikovanja blistaju poput petrolejskih
platformi koje osvjetljavaju noćne letove preko Atlantika
i da moja karizma veterana bude električna
pusti da mi limuzina klizi kroz narod kao što je Moby Dick
klizio pred očima bespomoćnog kapetana Ahaba
nikada nisam rekao da ne želim prodati dušu
samo sam licitirao cijenu
daj da budem pozvan na prijam kod predsjednika
toliko je jela koja nisam probao
toliko ima ljudi na zemlji čiju sudbinu nisam
uzeo u svoje ruke
želim otimati i držati lekcije pokradenima
želim lagati i smijati se prevarenima
želim svoje mjesto u arci kako bih mogao
gledati poplavu sa koktelom u ruci
jer bolje je podmetati požare nego biti spaljen
bolje je ponižavati nego biti ponižen
zato stavimo karte na stol – život je samo jedan

daj mi sto kurvi ljudožderki sa Bornea
daj mi da se kupam u pročišćujućim vodama mladosti
daj mi snagu da zauvijek trajem poput nevidljivog
otrova u krvnim žilama ljudi
daj mi neke njihove dijelove kičme ruke oči mozgove srca
bubrege
moje su ruke kipara žedne rada
– osmijehnut ću vam se, zelena Hrvatska polja,
osmijehom žeteoca

a pred vratima bolnice mačke ruju po smeću
skovale su zavjeru da ukradu sav kisik planete
željezni utori na fasadi su prazni
tu su 50 godina visjele tri zastave
jedna za proždrljivost druga za pohlepu
treća za kukavnost
umjesto njih digli smo našu zastavu od tri boje
crvenu za krv Kristovu mineralnu
krv naših poginulih zaštićenu podzemnu krv koja kipi
bijelu za nadu da se borimo za bolju civilizaciju
plavu za drsku pustolovinu, prijateljstvo čvrsto poput
onih prekomorskih telegrafskih kablova na koje
ponekad naiđu ribari kada im mreže zalutaju
dosta duboko
ali mačke su došle noću i izvele podli trik
crvena boja opet stoji za proždrljivost bijela za
pohlepu plava za kukavnost

zato, prijatelji, jedno je izvjesno,
i na vratima drugog svijeta one su čuvari
te iste mačke, lukave mačke koje se ponekad
preoblače u političare, mačke koje i dalje
kopaju po smeću i kuju zavjeru da ukradu
kisik planete

© Tomica Bajsić
From: Južni križ
Goranovo proljeće, 1998
Audio production: Tomislav Krevzelj, Udruga radio mreza 2011

THE WOUNDED MAN IS TEMPTING GOD

I wandered around the forest of the enemy kingdom
and stumbled upon a piece of wire hidden in the grass
it was a buried PROM2 tripwire-activated
bounding anti-personnel mine
and in the split second before the explosion
I wanted God to make that cup pass me by
but when the detonation threw me in into the air I saw pieces
of iron, pieces of my uniform, pieces of my flesh whirling
in orbit / sand stars porcelain four winds tartan
razors ice / Joseph Conrad proposing to Freya the girl from
the Seven Islands / my enemies cats stealing the planet oxygen
digging through garbage / all lighthouses ablaze all the way
from the New Hebrides to the Pepper Coast / the President of Zimbabwe
Canaan Banana listening to the German radio / thousands of mumified fish heads
prophesying in alien tongues / Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
making airplanes out of a piece of a newspaper -
I never liked Mozart and that's what threw me down on the ground
while the Vienna boy's Choir sang:
"a jug goes to the water until it breaks
a jug goes to the water until it breaks"



God let that cup pass me by I thought there in the ambulance
let me live for a little bit longer at least for another 100 years
I don't want to die now that our time has come
I wanted my medals to shine like oil platforms
lighting up the night flights over the Atlantic
and my veteran's charisma to become electric
let my limousine slide through the crowd like Moby Dick
slid before the eyes of helpless captain Ahab
I never said I did not want to sell my soul
I was only negotiating the price
let me be invited at the presidential party
ther are so many dishes I never tasted
there are so many people on this Earth whose destiny
I never took in my hands


I want to rob and preach to the robbed ones
I want to lie and laugh at the deceived ones
I want my place in the Ark so I can
watch the flood with the cocktail glass in my hands
since it is better to set fires than to be burned
it's better to humiliate than to be humiliated
so let's lay all the cards on the table - we have but one life
give me a hundred cannibal whores from Borneo
let me recover myself in the purifying fountains of youth
give me power to last forever like the invisible poison
in the veins of all humans


give me parts of their spines hands eyes brains hearts kidneys
my hands are the hands of the sculptor thirsty for a work
- I'll smile at you, the green pastures of Croatia
with a smile of a harvester


in front of the hospital alley cats rummage through garbage
they have conspired to steal the oxygen of the entire planet
the iron holders on the facade are empty
fifthy years ago three flags hung there
one for the gluttony another one for greed
and the third one for misery
instead of them we hoisted up our tricolor
the red is for the Christ's mineral blood
the blood of our dead the guardian subterranean blood boiling
the white is for hope that we are fighting for a better civilization
the blue one is for our blazen adventure, for frendship firm as those
overseas telegraph cables that fishermen sometimes find
when their nets get lost somewhere
really deep
but the cats came overnight and did their dirty trick
so the red stands for gluttony once again
the white for greed
and the blue for misery


so, dear friends, one thing is certain:
those very cats are the guardians of that other world as well
these cunning cats that sometimes transform into politicians
the cats that are still rummaging through garbage
conspiring to steal the oxyge

Translated by Damir Šodan