Crispin Best
io
io
when i die
stomp 3,000 alabaster skateboards in my memory
kickflip my corpse into a ditch
eat pizza
sing
when i’m alive
every morning i am still me wishing
i was in a sleeping bag with you
on a jovian moon
i am dropping a frisbee with everyone watching
if we ever talk and you don’t smile
there are hills in you and i am on them
o greyskull
o solemn wall-hung portrait of a kangaroo
o digestive biscuits in the spring
there are hills i am on
i love you is like sitting on a bench
if you think about it
everything is like that
when i die
remember us
it’s cold
i can only hug your legs one way
and they can only hug me another
i like both
i am beside myself when i am beside myself
i am beside myself when i am beside you
o goatse in the snow
o tubgirl in the rain
o modern american poetry
it is truly ok to want to let me smooch you
knock my legs off with a plastic cricket bat
i’m ready
o besunglassed sun in the summer
o party rings
o life
o des’ree
o sonique
you
when i’m alive
feed me ex boyfriends' foibles
your thoughts on films
past moral lapses
let me be your ginger hard drive
i think of you while eating pizza
o dragostea din tea
o thudding in the electric lumber of my chest
o fisher price
o feet
motherfucking teresa
truly i could cry in a bathroom
i want you on google street view
o brookside
o blobby
o burmese cliffbuilt monastery in may
my big idea is basically just the xgames
but for dogs
we’re listening to ace of base
in our winter coats
when i’m alive
i love you like soup
and want to fuck you the same way
o bison
o balrog
o blanka
o guile
by the way i’ve never kissed someone
this close to a plug socket
before
so thank you
girl
is your daddy archimedes
because you're 31415 FINE
girl
is yr daddy a film director
because jean-luc goDAMN
that ass leaves me breathless
girl
i saw you
looking over at me
from across the bar
and i couldn't help noticing
that here is a picture
i'm holding
of a very beautiful dog
aw look
o earthquake
o savage
o hitman
o hulk
when i’m alive
it is strange to be naked in one room
and then walk to another room
and be naked there instead
we have raised this wild invisible animal
alone together
came home to it
what did we expect
you hate that metaphor though
when i die
know that i died how i lived:
not wanting to die
when i die:
know that i died doing what i loved:
your mum
when i die
scatter my ashes on the internet
o puzz 3-d
o crystal maze
o mood-lit silk-bound aubergine
this poem is my petition
for every film in history
to be renamed
“the mighty ducks
[and then the next available number]”
when i’m alive
i am the first person to ever use sarcasm
everyone is so confused
did i enjoy the rice pudding or not
we are in the wildflowers again
throw your spanx into the distance
you are the barefoot me
o haunted toaster buried in a panic and the woods
o kerplunk
o huggies pull ups
o cloud cap over mount cleveland
when i die
roll my corpse down an up-escalator
i feel like my skeleton might enjoy that
eventually
let’s watch cool runnings in the bath
sitting like they do
let’s listen to big willy style in bed
when i’m alive
find me topless in your dreams
screaming i love you like white people love mambo #5
whispering i love you like a bike
o curly wurly wrapper
o crepitating autumn leaf
o nokia 3210
o mars bar ice cream in september and the rain
we like each other and vice versa
when i die
endorse me on linkedin
for the messed up sex things i wanted to do
but couldn’t
o distance
o abandoned fairground
o tamagotchi
o gentle choad poking meekly out
o blue corn tortilla on the ground
let’s gonna fuck
when i die
i will miss watching a sad magpie try to get through a window
i miss looking at a fucked up magpie with you
if u read this poem your life will be better
let's go bowling to celebrate
it's friday with you even when it isn't
especially
