Elegi Sinta

aku sinta yang urung membakar diri.
demi darah suci
bagi lelaki paling pengecut bernama rama.
lalu aku basuh tubuhku, dengan darah hitam.
agar hangat gelora cintaku.
tumbuh di padang pendakian yang paling hina.

kuburu rahwana,
dan kuminta ia menyetubuhi nafasku
menuju kehampaan langit.
kubiarkan terbang, agar tangan yang
takut dan kalah itu tak mampu menggapaiku.

siapa bilang cintaku putih? mungkin abu,
atau bahkan segelap hidupku.
tapi dengarlah ringkikku yang indah.
menggosongkan segala yang keramat dan abadi.

kuraih hidupku, tidak dalam api
–rumah bagi para pendosa.
tapi dalam kesunyian yang sia-sia dan papa.
agar sejarahku terpisah dari para penakut
dan pendusta. rama…

Prambanan, 2002

© Dorothea Rosa Herliany
Prambanan

Sinta’s Elegy

i, sinta, have retreated from incinerating
myself. for the sake of holy blood
for the most cowardly man known as rama.
then i washed my body, with black blood,
warming my wild love,
and sprouting it, even in fields growing with depravity.

i chased after rahwana,
and i begged him to copulate with my breath
as it points upward to the empty sky.
i let it fly, so the hands of the cravenly,
the defeated would be incapable of reaching me.

who said my love is white? perhaps, it is dust,
or as dark as my life.
but listen to my bewitching cries,
scorching all that is sanctified and eternal.

i seized my life, not within flames
- the house of sinners,
but within the calm of the wasted and the penniless,
separating my history from the craven
and the liars. rama...

Translated by Mona Zahra Attamimi