Time was when eye-pads were what you put over your eyes
to shut out the light in order to catch some sleep. Now the iPads
1, 2, 3, or more keep you awake with the brilliant lure
of their magical screen where everything’s happyning
and you are not, unless you happyn to be
where their whole world is.
In the same way, pods were what held peas and other legumes;
now they hold things that keep the peace away
while they stick the world into your ears and eyes.
Once linked in, the widgets are determined that you should not miss
a single offering that’s meant to feed you day and night;
what delights in pods cast on your table filled with delectable fare
to go with your Spam sandwich or big Mac, peas and snacks sweeter
than blackberries, apples and cookies.
You need never apologise for pod slurping.
MPs sat in Parliament debating our fates;
now they sit in our pockets early and late.
You would think blue bugs and worms and viruses
would be webcrawlers, but no, they are more sinister than that;
and don’t think of phishing for blue rays with your bluetooth bait,
you just might catch a bluejacket or bluesnarf in your bitnet.
They will hack or byte their way through; it’s not too late
to hard drive them into the world wide web where they may stay
until you decide on their transfer protocol.
But don’t depend on the kindness of the digerati or the web browser
who are hypertexting most of the time, have no netiquette,
and will think nothing of downloading most things into the MUD.
They will sometimes offer to cook your bluefin by putting a log in
to kindle and start the fire, but know that they are forever engaged
in holy wars that attract them to flame the zombies
they think inhabit your domain.
Instead of being fazed by their obsession with search engines
for these denizens, what you really need to call for are
the fire trucks to put out the firewalls.
It’s not good to be concealed in a Trojan Horse either
whilst charging spy warily through the phreaking pharm of
the virtual host; when you come out you risk finding
the Pigeon Drop on your Black Hat.
It’s safer to be at a Uniform Resource Locator:
this provides a permanent and absolute, safe and stable place,
immune from the antics of the acrobat piggybacking across
your foursquare map.
My advice is to stay out in your adobe house,
keep your windows secured with sidebars so that
no micros or macros can filter through.
The greatest mistake you can make is to think you need to maintain an
open office where the databases are always accessible;
I can tell you
the media players are out to get into all your documents with
every short-cut they can find, or else open your updated files by,
as they claim, default.