Radmila Lazić

الصربية

Charles Simic

الانجليزية

ŽENSKO PISMO

Neću da budem poslušna i krotka,
Mazna kao mačka, privržena kao pseto;
Sa stomakom do zuba,
Sa rukama u testu,
Sa licem od brašna,
Sa srcem-ugljenom,
I njegovom rukom na mojoj zadnjici.

Neću da budem zastavica-dobrodošlica
Na njegovom kućnom pragu.
Ni zmija čuvarkuća pod tim pragom,
Ni zmija, ni Eva, iz priče o Postanju.

Neću da hodam između vrata i prozora,
Da osluškujem i razabiram
Korake od noćnih šumova.
Neću da pratim olovno pomeranje kazaljki,
Ni padanje zvezda –
Da bi se on pijan zaglibio u mene kao slon.

Neću da budem udenuta goblen-bodom
U porodičnu sliku:
Kraj kamina s klupčićima dece,
U vrtu s kučićima dece.

Pa ja, kao hlad-drvo,
Pa ja, kao zimski pejzaž.
Statueta pod snegom,
U venčanici s naborima i volanima
Odleteću u nebo.
Aleluja! Aleluja!
Neću mladoženju.
Hoću sedu kosu,
Hoću grbu i kotaricu,
Pa da krenem u šumu,
Da berem jagode
I skupljam suvarke.

Da je već sve za mnom,
I osmeh onog mladića
Tada tako drag
I ničim zamenjiv.

1988/89

© Radmila Lazić
الإنتاج المسموع: Drugi program Radio Beograda / PEN centar Srbije

A Woman’s Letter

I don’t want to be obedient and tame.

Coddled like a cat. Faithful like a dog.

With a belly up to my teeth, hands in the dough,

Face covered with flour, my heart a cinder

And his hand on my ass.


I don’t want to be a welcome flag at his door,

Nor the guardian snake under his threshold,

Neither the snake nor Eve from Genesis.


I don’t want to pace between the door and the window,

To listen hard and be able to distinguish

Footsteps from night sounds.

I don’t want to follow the leaden movement of the watch hands,

Nor see falling stars

For him to gore me drunkenly like an elephant.


I don’t want to be sewn with needlepoint

To the family portrait

Next to the fireplace with balled-up children,

In the garden with little tots,

And I— the shade tree.

And I— the winter landscape,

A statue under the snow.

In a pleated wedding dress

I’ll fly to heaven.


Alleluia! Alleluia!

I don’t want a bridegroom.


I want gray hair, a hump and a basket

To go roaming in the woods,

Picking strawberries and dry twigs.


With my whole life behind me,

The smile of that boy,

Once so dear and completely irreplaceable.

From: Radmila Lazić. A Wake for the Living. Poems (Bilingual Edition). Translated from the Serbian by Charles Simic. Graywolf Press, 2003