Ayesha Saldanha
الانجليزية
ليتَ الفتى حجرُ
كانتْ تقول ككذبة لا ظل يتبعها
ولا مرض يرافق خطوها
لا شكل للتفاح إلا ما أقولُ
ولعنتي.. يمشي إلى المعنى سواي
كانت تقولُ
وكنتُ أبحثُ عن يدي في صدرها
كانتْ تخبئُ بينَ أغنيتينِ وجهَ اللهِ
يا اللهُ
كانت حين تمشي..
تربكُ الأطفالَ في قلبي
وكانتْ من تفاصيلِ الكلامِ
تعيدُ للتفّاحِ وضعَ قتيلةٍ تمضي إلى المعنى
وتتهمُ الكنايةَ بالفتى (ليتَ الفتى حجرُ)
وأنا... أنا
حاولتُ أن أبدو كغيري
واضحاً أو باهتَ القدمينِ
يمسكُ ظلهُ من رجلهِ
ويعيدُ ترتيبَ الكمانِ إلى قميصكِ
ثم حاولني
فكنت أنا... أنا
ليَّ زورقٌ قرطاسُ أدفعهُ إلى مجرى الزمانِ
وياقتي مقلوبةٌ وأعودُ من نفسي
ولي شكُ البنفسج
حين يصعدُ سلّمِ الأسوارِ
يُلقي بالقصيدةِ بين نهدي سيدةْ
كي يطمئن إلى الكلامِ
إلى تفاصيلٍ -أقولُ صغيرةً مثلي-
كوضعِ الزرِ فوقَ النهدِ
لونِ حديثكِ اليدوي
حجمِ تحركِ القمرينِ في ماءِ الجسدْ.
كانت تقولُ
وذنبها احتشدت عصافير على شفتي
كأنْ.. لا ظل يتبعها
ولا أثر يرافق خطوها
حجر على قلبي
فيا ليتَ الصبيةَ تُرجعُ الأشجارَ عن فستانها
حجرٌ على قلبي
فيا (ليتَ الفتى حجرُ).
الإنتاج المسموع: Literaturwerkstatt Berlin, 2011
If Only the Boy had Been a Stone
She was saying, as a lie which no shadow follows
And an illness which her step accompanies not
The apple has no name, only that which I say
I am cursed
For no one walks to the meaning but I
She was saying
And I was seeking my hand in her chest
She was concealing the face of God between two songs
O Lord
When she walked she confused the children in my heart
And she would, by the conversation’s details,
Once again make the apples the victims, heading for the meaning
She accused the metaphor of the boy
“If only the boy had been a stone.”
And I…was just myself
I tried to be like others
Clearly, or with faded steps
Catching his shadow by the legs
And retuning the violin, your blouse
Then I tried
But I was…just myself
Mine the parchment boat
I push it against the river of time
My collar is turned up and I return from myself
And mine the violet's doubt
When it climbs the stairs of walls
And throws the poem between the woman’s breasts
In order to be reassured of the words,
Of the details – I think they are insignificant like me –
Like the position of the shirt’s button on the breast
The colour of your hand’s discussion
The movement of two moons in the body's ocean
She was saying
And birds gathered on my lips
As if...no shadow followed her
And no trace accompanied her step
A stone on my heart
And if only the girl could send back the trees from her dress
A stone on my heart
“If only the boy had been a stone.”
-----------------------------
‘If only the boy had been a stone’ was a phrase used by the Arabian
poet Tamim bin Muqbil. With the advent of Islam he became a Muslim,
but on discovering that his way of life would have to change he
decided it would have been preferable if he had been a stone rather
than human before that.