Radmila Lazić (Радмила Лазић)

I'm penniless, my Lord.

Empty heart, empty pussy.

The pockets of my soul are turned inside out.

In my head something tinkles

As in a Red Cross box.

Slip something in my wallet, Lord.

I'm empty and broke.

My heart whistles like a teakettle.

Elsewhere, landscapes burst with beauty.

Here darkness presses on the eyelids.

I squandered everything, blew it away

As if there was no tomorrow.

Now it's Your turn to give me something.

Feed me, heal me

Before You write it down in Your book.

Give me a butt, a lousy nickel.

Give this sinner a cock.

Give me this day.

I neither sow nor reap,

Nor do I weave.

I obeyed Thee, Lord,

Now You take care of me.

I laze in bed past noon,

Loaf around all day with nothing to do.

Nights I spend in bars or over my manuscripts,

Keep vigil, bleed.

In the morning I step on the cold floor of my heart.

Your son, Your darling,

I sniff between his legs

The way a bitch sniffs her litter.

You said: Do unto others

As you would have done unto you.

But that man gave me a kick,

Shook me like sand out of a sandal.

I suspect other heels dance now

On his heart's stage

While mine lies hollow like a gutter

Beaten by lethal drops of rain.

Nothing comes easy to me anymore—

Narrow gate, narrow path.

Stop staring at me, Lord.

Gravity won't hold me up.

I'm tipsy, I've lost my footing.

The street grows even more crooked.

My house is even more distant.

Give me Your hand, extend Your finger

Like a torch, not a whip.

Life wails like a mouth organ.

I've thoroughly lost my way.

I can't tell from the birds,

Plants, trees, cardinal points,

Sweetwater fish from the deep-sea kind,

The source from the mouth of a river,

The dreams over which I wade

From the street where I swing my hips.

Many times I fell in love forever.

My heart was a hot stove.

Now the jug is broken.

Let there be sex unstained by love

Is my slogan now.

Every other desire I shook off

Like raindrops from a coat.

Have mercy, Lord.

I sing of a drowned soul

Which I can't drag to the shore.

My hands hang like wild game.

Help me! Rescue me!

Give me—mouth-to-mouth!

I loved strong drink, violent men,

And other such foolish things.

I confess to You, Lord,

Not a single sin eluded me.

Like Your own body

My heart is a pincushion.

Sorry, Lord.

I'm neither Martha nor Magdalena.

I'm what You spat out, Your discharge.

Now weigh it all on Your scales.

Don't tip them, don't cheat on me.

Go and weigh them.

Blind my heart, take away my sight

To suffer and pay.

Lord, have mercy on me.